Families today are at a crucial point, where the destructive values that characterized the families living in traditional, hierarchical, such as obedience, physical and emotional violence, and compliance-can and must be transformed . Instead, the author proposes a new set of values that are based on the understanding that the family environment does not have to rely on the use of force authoritarian or democratic tyranny by the parents, but they may choose create a climate of equal dignity and reciprocity of treatment between them and their children. The foundation of this proposal are in the survey shows that children from birth and are competent, well able to express their feelings and needs, and very willing to cooperate. They are therefore the parents who must work to listen to explicit and implicit messages they carry their children, take them seriously and learn from them. At the root of many conflicts is the inability of parents to turn their love of their children in behavior that really express this love and to transform their good intentions into fruitful interaction. Acknowledging the competence of the children, respecting their real needs and helping them develop self-esteem, parents, and to encourage personal growth, you can create and live a new family paradigm that allows peaceful coexistence and mutual understanding and vital respect. The work, which in Denmark has been a bestseller and has been translated into ten languages, has also received rave reviews from the press: "His son, a competent person is a book about children wise and liberating. Should expand to the size of a poster and hang it on every corner. The message is simple: children are unique and should be treated with equal respect and tact with which we treat adults who love ... " psychologists, family therapists, educators and parents.