We are all faced with abandonment, departure, absence or death of a relative. If the absentee had a key role, its role is tacitly assigned to another person. In this context it can be seen among close the establishment of a 'ghost' or a disease that covers his absence we can not accept or endure. family therapist GoldBet-Merinfeld Edith has developed the model of the "third weighty", referring to a family member whose role seems essential within all intra relational triangles. the author demonstrates how precise and forceful application of the model can advance the therapeutic work freeing patients from these bonds and facilitate the grieving process.